By Jonathan London on 18th September 2015

6 signs you need to call time on self-employment

Being self-employed is great, right? You get to work in your pyjamas, there are no arguments about leaving gone-off milk in the fridge and you can leave work at 3pm on Tuesdays just because you feel like it. There’s a reason that being your own boss is heralded as the work-life dream.

But as with most things, there can come a time for the dream to end. If you recognise any of the below, it might be a sign that you need to call time on self-employment and return to the sanity of an office.

You start talking to your cat (or worse, inanimate objects)

Sure, it might have started off with a simple morning… or alright?…, but now the conversation has evolved into a fully-fledged breakdown of the pitfalls of your latest project with words like fiscal… and strategy…. They say that talking to yourself is the first sign of madness. It’s also the first sign that you should get out more – ideally to somewhere where you can have awkward chats by the watercooler.

When you’ve run out of things to watch on Netflix

Watching Netflix in your slippers at 3pm is one of the perks of self-employment, right? But when you’ve already watched every episode of Breaking Bad twice and you’re starting to think about delving into the films with one-star ratings, it’s probably time to consider making the move back to an office. At least the change will provide new avenues of procrastination.

You haven’t left the house in a month

Thankfully, online grocery shopping means you haven’t yet succumbed to starvation – but you are starting to miss the outside world (leaves on trees, fresh air, people…). When it gets to the stage that the thought of going into an actual office makes you feel like Bear Grylls trekking into the wilderness, it’s time to re-evaluate. Go outside. Find a Starbucks.

Your parents keep calling

Let’s face it; you’re lucky they haven’t registered you as missing. If you’ve been sucked into a self-employment vortex, it’s pretty likely that you haven’t returned any personal calls for as long as you can remember. On a serious note, it could be a sign that your time management skills need some TLC (or, you might just have over-protective parents). You know what would help? A 9-5. Then again, you’ll also lose you get-out-of-jail free card for returning calls.

You no longer work at your desk

First, you migrated to the sofa. Then, you started taking your laptop to bed to finish off some emails. Now? You fire it up first thing, cafetiere in hand, ready to attack the day head-on. Until you realise that its half eleven, you’re still in bed, and you’ve run out of coffee. Desks are good; they help focus your mind and help you stay organised. You don’t have to just take our word for it though – ask your back how it feels about your new bed-desk.

You haven’t changed your top in three days

Sure, we get it. It suits you. Besides, you haven’t really had time with That Big Project Deadline looming, right? But with nobody to judge you except for the postman and your curtain twitching neighbour who doesn’t have anything better to do, wearing the same clothes day-in day-out is the easy option. Just don’t inadvertently sign up for any video conferences…

Jonathan London Written by Jonathan London

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